Mowing can wait, I need to write.

Waiting for my pot of coffee to brew, it’s the beginning of another Shit Sunday…

Most days, my own situation seems pretty hopeless. It being much closer to impossible than anything else. I get by in just living a day, or even just hours, at a time. Am I suicidal at times? Absolutely not. Depressed, yes, to a degree almost all of the time, and who wouldn’t be if they walked in my shoes? It is just frustrating in that I can’t share a lot with the people who say that they care. Most people can barely deal with their own shit. Even though they may care, they either can’t or don’t know, how or what to do. It may not change anything, but sometimes just having someone listen, while not trying to judge or fix you, is the best you could hope for. People don’t like bad news, and they often think that if they just blow enough sunshine up your ass, then you’ll be OK. They’ll be OK, because what ever they’ve done relieves their conscience from enough responsibility to get them off the hook. Being able to say they tried shifts blame and guilt from them, so they’re happy. Why is it that people think that by analyzing one small slice of a person, a person’s life, that somehow they can offer an answer or advice to someone? Don’t they realize that what is obvious to them is also just as obvious to you, yet it may not at all be correct or applicable for you? Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk just a block. Spend 5 minutes just standing in my shoes. I’m sure the clarity and detail would be overwhelming then. Some, maybe many, people who feel and live a life like I do, or even worse, may think that they’re the only ones. Or, just a few of many? Newsflash, it’s more common than anyone wants to acknowledge. It’s all over, everywhere. I’m not that blind, nor narrow minded, which is a blessing as much as it is a curse. I have to see and understand many things that I wish I didn’t have to. Not wishing for a blind eye, just wishing that so much that’s true would just not be. That it wouldn’t exist. Wouldn’t be allowed to exist. Because every person should matter to every other person. Alas, it’s not a perfect world and never will be, not matter how much we pray, hope, or believe. Now, someone reading this right now will think otherwise, disagree, and not accept what is truth. Please spare me the sunshine, my ass can’t take it any more. If it looks like shit, smells like shit, feels like shit, tastes like shit… Well, I’d say it’s definitely NOT a duck, so it MUST be shit! Down to brass tacks, it’s a shit world full of shit people, and it’s not going to get better. I feel especially bad for the children and the younger people that are here today. The world is ruled by insatiable greed, lust for power, and a complete lack of true compassion. I’m disgusted. The leaders are bad enough, evil in their own special ways. But, I’m especially disgusted by the masses, their minions, their cheerleader squads, that mindlessly follow and pledge loyalty to them. Their no different than who they follow. Humanity is very capable of easily doing better, being so much better, and that’s sad. Warring over money, status, land, beliefs, and even bread crumbs. So sad. If the human race was really made up of intelligent beings, it would get worked out. However, the majority is not intelligent at all. They’re just clever. The leaders are especially clever. If you’re clever, you can lie and deceive and do it so well that it appears as truth. Lies repeated, again and again, they begin to appear as truth before long too. It’s still just shit. If you’re truly human, truly tough and resilient, you tune out all the shit. You don’t need to be part of any club, organization, or cheering on some rah-rah wagon behind some leader or cause. The greed, the anger, the unfeeling lust for power, it all has to go away. The only way I think this is possible would be to just begin again. Looking at humanity as it is, only a miracle of some sort could make this so. Now, for myself, on to living through the next hour…

I’m not Native American, but I believe that they had so many things right. I respect and honor them. The whole world needs to wash it’s spirit clean. Thank you songinwind for making this wonderful video. It has saved my life many times. Maybe one day it may be that miracle that saves the would, if people would only listen with their hearts…

Think with your mind, live with your heart.




About offworldengineer

Still alone. Still Alive. Still Unbroken.
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