What would I do if?…

“What would I do if…” covers many things. Today though, I’m going to focus on myself, my life, my situation, my dreams, my hopes, and maybe a few fears or concerns as well. Considering the “what ifs” of when things may go right for a change, instead of just in circles, or not well at all. Suppose something went my way? Would I be ready? Suppose my life and situation were to improve? Suppose a dream or a hope suddenly manifested itself?

The biggest “what if” is… What if I found love? Please note that I did NOT use the word “again”, as that is quite notable. Here is something I posted recently where just a couple of friends and few cousins have access to it…

The only way I might ever believe in love again would be only if Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, AND the Great Pumpkin ALL showed up here together and tried to convince me that I should…
I should have never believed it the first time. That happens when you’re young and stupid, and it did. If I had ever really meant anything to anyone I thought I meant something to, I wouldn’t be sitting here alone right now. I can’t feel too bad, because it seems I didn’t lose anything except what I had believed in and hoped it would be.

Dust in the wind. ~ Trust No One
No more lies, false dreams, and empty hopes.
Don’t blow any feel-good sunshine up my ass just so that you’ll feel better.
Don’t judge me, as the only thing being judged is your own reflection.
That about sums it all up..

I’ve observed much, studied many people, sought words of wisdom from the wise, and have actively searched for purest and most honest meaning, of the definition of love. To learn what something is also entails learning what it is not. It’s a journey that takes a lifetime or more, which is a good thing. Learning about love has it’s hazards. To learn you have to endure those hazards and the consequences of same. You pay the price. You pay your dues. You take your wounds and scars right along with you. If the desire in your own heart is true, you keep moving on, forward, toward your goal, the legendary reward that may await you. The more time that passes, the more that you endure and survive, the more dauntless you become. It’s a noble quest that only the most dauntless will survive. Is the treasure attainable? Is it real? Does it exist at all? Those are questions only answerable by someone who has the faith to go far enough to know those things. The closer I get to the prize, them more I am understanding that the last step needed in order to reach it, to touch it, to hold it, and to place it in to my own heart… That last step will be no ordinary step. It will be a true leap of faith. The last step across the nothingness…

I’m feeling close to it at times. So very close… That goal that is still so elusive.

What would I do if, when I found that essence of love, there was someone already there holding it? What would I do if they were there waiting for someone to come along? Just because I show up, would that make me “the one”? Just because they are already there, waiting, would that make them “the one”?

Anyone reading my posting about not believing in love any longer will get different things, different meanings, and different intentions, from it. What I’ve really done is throw up my hands and toss the whole thing in to the lap of the universe. Not giving up. Rather letting go of the control, letting go of the wheel. Take me there, bring it to me, bring me to it, show me…

Now… What would I do if Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, AND the Great Pumpkin ALL showed up here together and tried to convince me that I should… I should believe in love? I’d say Thank You, and I’d believe. It wouldn’t take much to convince me. Why is that? Because I want to believe… And I do, because I am dauntless.

~ Mike

Abraham Hicks is worth listening too… Enjoy  🙂

About offworldengineer

Still alone. Still Alive. Still Unbroken.
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